Have you ever felt empty due to sudden loss? If that has ever happened to you, you may have been experiencing grief. The grief that you experience can come not only from someone’s passing but also from a range of losses such as heartbreak from a romantic relationship, the resignation of close colleagues, and even loss of financial stability. The grief might come with mixed emotions; you might feel thankful but jealous, powerful but lonely, or sad but grateful. These changes will plunge your life into an emotional roller-coaster, however, even though those painful changes, there are chances to grow.
The difficulty of dealing with grief
One of the reasons why grief is such a complicated emotion is because people are trained to achieve things in life. During childhood, people often strive for their parents’ approval. As they enter school, studying hard becomes a motivation to receive recognition. In their formative years, teenagers try to be physically appealing to gain acceptance.
This pattern goes on until adulthood. People have gained so much knowledge on how to gain certain things but are left helpless in the face of loss. Lack of knowledge about how to cope with grief also affects how people respond to others who are grieving, which leads to the second reason.
Society has not been able to give suitable feedback to grief. Grief is not only an emotional experience; it can also negatively affect a person’s physical health. As an attempt to overcome this, society tends to focus on pushing the unpleasantness away quickly by suggesting you get busy or simply forget about it. Of course, it is not that easy to push grief away since a human’s brain and body are made to think and feel.
To push the grief away is like pushing a part of yourself away. Therefore, rather than denying and letting it be released in an unhealthy way, one would need to manage grief by creating an emotionally safe space to be released adaptively. However, this condition might be difficult to realize due to the need for efficiency, which leads us to the last reason.
In modern times, productivity and efficiency are highly valued. However, you might have less time paying attention to yourself and have a harder time healing adaptively from grief. This may lead to difficulty in sleeping, poor appetite, overthinking, and even procrastination, all of which is akin to adding salt to an existing wound caused by grief.
As such, it is important to realize that grief is a beautiful emotion that can help you gain wisdom and personal growth if you can overcome it adaptively. Even if it is not easy, there are ways to go through the process of grief in a meaningful way while still being able to go on with daily life.
Be honest with yourself
It might be difficult to be honest with yourself during the beginning of grief since it might bring more sadness and pain, but the more you realize and embrace it, the more effectively you can deal with it. One way to go about it is to write your thoughts down in the journal. Since this is a personal journal, you do not have to think of the aesthetic of your handwriting, grammar, or how it might sound to others. It is a free, private, and personal safe space for your grief.
Say “Yes” to the feeling
After being honest with your grief, you might find it easier to repress or push away the discomfort it gives you than to accept and be in that moment. However, only in embracing your grief will you learn to be grounded and aware of how your body is reacting towards grief such as feeling your heart beat faster or your shortness of breath.
When this happens, try to sit comfortably and breathe from your stomach slowly and gently. To do this, expand your belly out as you inhale and slowly exhale. Slow breathing is one of the ways you can soothe yourself and create a sense of safety and relaxation while dealing with grief.
Be proactive
When a person gets physically injured, they would be proactive in their recovery by attending to it immediately or even going to the doctor in the case of a severe injury. Similarly, people should also be proactive in tending to their emotional needs, especially in times of grief.
Ask yourself what you really need to feel better and make that as the guide for healing. However, make sure that the steps you take are sustainable and will not bring harm to yourself or others. In addition, you might consider reducing some stressful activities for the sake of recovery. Be compassionate to yourself and be creative in finding what feels good to you.
Practice self-care
Your energy gets drained physically and emotionally during the grieving process, so it is important to practice self-care; taking care of your body will help in the healing process. Several ways to take care of your physical health include practicing proper hygiene, getting proper sleep, doing exercises or activities, and eating a nutritious meal. Taking care of your emotional health can involve expressing yourself through creative means, meditating, doing hobbies that you like, and talking with people that you trust.
Reach out
Do not hesitate to ask for help especially when your pain is too much to handle. Ask yourself who are the people that you can trust, reach out to, and comfort you in difficult times. It might be a family member, romantic partner, friend, work colleague, spiritual leader, or mental health professional. To maximize your healing process, you might consider reorganizing deadlines and tasks with your work supervisor. Find the middle-ground for you and your supervisor’s needs, so that you can healthily process your grief while not having to worry about work.
Even if grief may not be a pleasurable experience in life, it can help you become more adaptable, see your capacity to love in yourself, appreciate happy moments, and discover the meaning of life. Rather than taking large, extravagant moves, tiny, appropriate, and actionable choices can help you bounce back from painful grief.
People send out messages into the world every minute but are you aware of the message you are sending? Ask yourself: are your personal and professional personas reflecting the person you want to be? Do your visual aesthetics, actions, and presence support it?
Initially, rebranding one’s self may sound pretentious. However, reinventing a part of your story is a normal element of human development. It is considered as growth, and growth happens with exploration. So whenever you find something you want to change, you have to rebrand it.
Governments, NGOs, corporations, and the like all embellish themselves in corporate branding to stand out from an ever-growing pool of competition. After every couple of years, they rebrand to tweak minor and major aspects of their organization to stay at the top of their game. So why should personal branding be any different?
Just like corporate branding, personal branding is the living avatar that you create with values, beliefs, visual appeal, and ambition. The only differentiator is that you are marketing yourself.
Branding or reinventing your brand is defined as a skill that you can master at any age with the right tips and tricks, often within a given amount of time, energy, or both. People opt to redesign their avatars when they want to follow a different path in life, rebut perceptions, or take on a more significant and challenging job.No matter the reason behind your drive, here are some tips to rebrand and market yourself accordingly.
Be aware of your objective
Before jumping on the bandwagon, it is crucial to know the aim and the psychology behind the change. This behavior is inward-looking rather than outward-looking. You have to address the why’s and what’s before you get to the how’s which entails conducting extensive research, understanding precisely how you might alter the public’s opinion of you, and anticipating the outcomes of this transformation. Once you’ve determined your major challenge and goal, you can begin learning the skills you will need to enable your personal reinvention.
Embrace a new mindset
People who embrace change experience growth. To do that, you must sincerely believe that you are open to change to begin the transformation of your mindset; saying it out loud can also help as you embark on rebranding yourself. You can also start taking baby steps outside your comfort zone, decrease self-judgment, try something new and scary, and make it a habit to see things from another’s eyes. Make a firm commitment to your new change, and while you are establishing a new vision for life, stay aware, and continue to create and nourish any small ideas that can improve your new mindset.
Discover your unique value proposition
In marketing, this is called a unique selling proposition; consider it the same for personal branding with the emphasis on your value. Define your strongest points; it could be one or two, or even a combination of aspects. Consider analyzing your competition and the people you look up to. At this point, you need to pinpoint what makes you stand out in the community, workplace, or family. That is what people will remember you for, and you can capitalize on it.
Match your visual aesthetics and communication style
People tend to think that the way they look has nothing to do with their real selves or that they should never judge a book by its cover, but in reality, humans continue to pass judgment on others. A person can infer a lot about you based on the physical look you portray, from your principles to whether you are introverted or not. Clothes, for instance, have evolved from a functional asset to a social symbol, influencing our perceptions of ourselves; it is even considered a symbol of personal affluence and style in many countries. These aspects and more enable people to be viewed the way they want to and help project their personality and social status.
Be mindful that your personal brand voice represents your unique brand’s perspective and the principles you stand for. In fact, your voice is your brand’s overall personality. It is also beneficial to pay attention to your tone as well as your usage of language and how you express things since this sets the standard of how you choose to communicate with your community.
Market yourself accordingly
Now that a thorough personal brand positioning is in place, it is time for you to sing your own praises. Social media is a perfect place to reintroduce your new identity. You can use this space to reinstate your new attitude and beliefs. Do not shy away; these platforms are molded for personal branding. Use it strategically and blow your own trumpet.
Prove your abilities
Prove yourself to yourself first and then release it for others to see it. How can you expect others to believe in you if you do not believe in yourself? You can start by showcasing your new accomplishments, constantly post content that represents you on social media, find a way to be part of a similar tribe, and constantly keep representing your new you. The secret to proving yourself rests on consistency. Keep doing what you are doing, believe in your new self, and keep pushing the boundaries.
Mahatma Gandhi, Steve Jobs, and even Winston Churchill are just a few examples of leaders that embraced the power of personal branding. Churchill despised the idea that he was not supported by the British public and his own political party that he then decided to reinvent himself, make a drastic change, and join the military. It was after this shift that he shaped his desired avatar and started demonstrating outstanding leadership. Mahatma Gandhi’s brand image portrays truth and this image of truth was the result of thought and action seeds that were planted early on in his childhood which became the brand that he is remembered for today. Just as importantly, Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” In the same way, you can achieve the personal brand you desire with the right skills, effort, and consistency.
People generally take the coming of the new year as a chance to start fresh. Setting goals are good for getting refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges that are ahead of you. Studies have shown that people are more likely to stick with their goals when they are challenging, whichever way you go about achieving them.
It has been widely discussed how having a New Year’s Resolution can have a significant effect on your behavior. Resolutions made in a hurry will be more quickly forgotten than drafting resolutions with careful thinking. Setting unrealistic goals can lead to disappointment and discouragement if they are not met, but that does not mean you should lower your expectations.
The importance of goal setting
Goals are expressions of what you want to happen in your life. They might be long-term, mid-term, or short-term. When you have clear goals, you are more likely to get what you want. Goal setting helps you improve every day, gradually turning you into the person you want to be. This also gives you a list of manageable steps you can do to take your life from where it is now to where you want it to be in an efficient and effective manner. Effective goal setting not only helps you break down your larger goals into smaller, more achievable goals; it also encourages you to actually take action to achieve those goals.
Setting goals and putting the plan into action encourages you to take action to achieve them. There is also a reason to celebrate progress each time you reach one of your goals by setting small, specific goals. Goal setting helps you avoid distractions from trends and stay on track of your goal by reminding you of what you want out of your life.
By setting smaller goals, you will be able to plan work and family responsibilities on time; the same is true when trying to achieve your New Year’s Resolutions. Therefore, you should make a shortlist of solutions that you can implement in the coming year. The first thing to consider is your long-term goals and how each decision aligns with those goals.
Strategies to create effective goals
When making New Year’s Resolutions, many people end up with a long list of easy decisions without thinking deeply about their logic for each decision or where each decision will take them. This is easier to remember and implement if you focus on a solution or at least one area, such as making time to exercise or having healthier food choices under the umbrella of weight loss.
Instead of setting a huge goal with many steps, try to structure your decisions into smaller goals that you can reasonably achieve. Look at what you can do each week and set small goals instead of one, big, overarching goal. Rather than saving yourself a year of bad decisions, start with the right perspective and think critically about your goals. When you set big goals for the next year, make a clear plan for reaching those goals.
Below are some strategies for how to create an effective goal:
The use of “I will” statements is recommended as they help the person with accountability and motivation to achieve their target.
Use specific language such as “I will exercise for 30 minutes every day, five days a week” with clear and measurable outcomes.
Construct your goal by using no more than four complete sentences per goal.
Write down your goal and place it where you can always see it like on your refrigerator.
These tips can help you set effective goals in the right way. Learning to set good goals for the new year is essential. Effective research, wise planning, understanding your personal weaknesses, focusing on your strengths, and being with people who support you can lead to strategies for success in achieving your goals.
Work-life balance may appear to be impossible to achieve these days. Thanks to technology, people can reach out to anyone at any time of any day. Meanwhile, employees work longer hours and can even have a higher priority over other aspects of their life for fear of losing their job. As such, people are currently putting their wellbeing on the back burner to give way to their careers. However, it is important to create a productive work-life integration not only for one’s physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing but also for professional success.
Categorize daily tasks. You may have a lot of duties to complete each day, so divide them into four categories: urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and neither urgent nor important. This can lighten your job load and prevent you from becoming stranded in stressful circumstances.
Create a schedule. There are multiple solutions available that you can utilize to create a schedule for yourself that range from a physical planner to a software solution. What is important is for you to determine each task you need to do for the day and when you need to do them. You can also include personal dates like holidays, birthday celebrations, and the like so you do not forget you are out of the office on certain days.
Choose your career wisely. You do not have to enjoy every element of your career, but it should be interesting enough that you would not mind getting out of bed in the morning. Otherwise, if you hate what you do, you will not be happy; it can be detrimental to your overall wellbeing and you might find it tough to do the activities you enjoy outside of work. Whether it is caused by working in a toxic atmosphere, dealing with a toxic person, or simply doing a job that you dislike, if it is negatively affecting you, it may be a sign to look for a new career.
Evaluate yourself at the end of the day. Consider what went well, what went wrong, and the way the matter was resolved. Keep in mind that countless companies are experiencing the same problems daily and do not forget to ask for help. You should also remember to take care of yourself and make time for the important things in life.
Set boundaries. Consider using a separate computer or phone for work so that you can turn it off after work. If that is not possible, use different browsers, emails, or filters for work and personal platforms.
Speak up. Do not suffer in silence if you are overwhelmed at work and it is causing you additional stress. Inform your boss or supervisor of your situation. Unworkable situations can usually be resolved, but it will require some positivity on your part. You can also consult a professional – such as a counselor, mental health worker, or psychologist – or simply talk to your loved ones to get emotional support.
Having a balance between your work and personal life will ultimately help you reach your deadlines and spend time with your family without worrying about work. Practicing this will help you manage your time and attention between your daily responsibilities without sacrificing your wellbeing.
The coming of a New Year signals a fresh start and great timing to set goals not only for individuals but also for families. Creating a new year’s resolution may be a common practice for most people, but many are not familiar with doing it as a family.
While surveys on individuals include spending more time with family as one of their new year’s resolutions, none explicitly discuss this as a plan with their family nor have it as a goal to be achieved collectively with their family members.
In fact, having shared goals is a vital ingredient for a healthy relationship, and having them between family members is no exception. Similar to setting family goals, the idea of family resolutions is to get everyone involved in deciding what to improve and how to make a group effort to achieve them.
Some families may not schedule their resolutions, but for others, it is probably the only way amidst the busy life where everyone has different schedules and priorities. Joint resolutions may connect everyone in the family and support each other to stick to their promises for the year.
10 Family Resolution Ideas
Here are some ideas to include in your family’s new year’s resolution:
Get unplugged. Go on a digital diet with your family by designating screen-free hours or days, such as no phones during dinner or video games during weekdays. Not only does it allow family members to have more time together, but it also promotes better physical and mental health.
Prepare meals and eat healthier food. Cooking healthier food together can be a fun way to reach your personal diet goal and make the process more manageable. It will also be easier on your wallet because there would be no more monthly expenses wasted on unused ingredients.
Spend more time in nature. Take your family outdoors and reap the benefits of spending time in a more natural environment for your health and wellbeing. You can do some activities together, such as riding a bike, playing a sport, or walking in a nearby park. This is also helpful to balance your time spent indoors due to the pandemic.
Practice kindness. A small act of kindness can make someone’s day and can even become a pleasant surprise when it comes from someone we love. This can also serve as a way of expressing affection and caring. For example, taking on your partner’s chore, leaving a note of appreciation and compliment for siblings, or making breakfast for parents can go a long way.
Start a weekly ritual. Plan out a schedule for a regular activity that you can do with the family, like having a movie or game night every week or planning a date night for the parents. These rituals create a space for things that matter to the family and build an emotional bond among family members.
Go on family vacations. The experience of exploring new places and de-stressing through vacations can benefit everyone individually and as a family in many ways. Start the new year by planning family trips, so everyone has something to look forward to even after the holiday season.
Save money together. Saving money is one of the most basic financial aspects that offer an abundance of benefits. Saving money together as a family for weekly activities or family trips also helps children develop healthy financial habits and build their own funds as they become adults.
Volunteer as a family. Connect with new people and extend your family’s effort in practicing kindness to a bigger community. This can be done through family volunteering, such as preparing and serving meals to the homeless, planting trees with a local organization, and volunteering at a nursing home. It is also an excellent opportunity to help children develop essential traits like empathy and compassion.
Keep a record of memories. Technology allows us to preserve family memories through photos, videos, or journals. Having a digital album to maintain with family can help preserve memories and allow members to reminisce and reflect on the past.
Create a family vision board. Finally, all resolutions mentioned above can be recorded on a family vision board. By having a vision board of your family’s resolution for the new year, everyone can see how they are progressing towards their goal as a family. This can also act as a review of how each member is playing their role in the family.
